In our eight years of marriage, God has blessed my husband and me with three beautiful children. During these years, I’ve also suffered the loss of four miscarriages. Experiencing the sorrow of miscarriage has shaped who I am as a mother, increasing my awareness of how truly precious life is. While thankful for the wonderful children God has given, my heart still aches for the little ones I carried but never got to hold.
Searching for a way to find healing and closure, my husband and I dedicated a memorial garden to our unborn babies. In our front yard, we planted a flowering apple tree surrounded by a rock garden, in the shape of a footprint.
Each spring I wait expectantly, watching for the first buds, and knowing that soon vibrant pink blossoms will appear. Like most flowering fruit trees, our tree blossoms for only a short time. Fleeting like life, the beauty comes in its splendor, then fades away.
As spring transitions into the summer months, my children enjoy the memorial garden in their own ways. They find such excitement in picking flowers and admiring the beauty of each plant as it blooms. I’ve cherish these precious moments as I watch my little ones race over to me with flowers they have picked, their faces gleaming with joy. They insist that each flower is special and should be preserved.
It is common in our household to see two, three, or even five water glasses, overflowing with flowers, lining our kitchen counters! These small acts of love encourage me to see the beauty in life, even on the days that are difficult to bear.
Although the memories of each miscarriage still linger, my heart has found healing. Finding a way to honor our unborn children has aided in the grieving process and brought me and my husband a sense of closure. As beautiful pink blossoms appear on the tree each spring, my spirit feels renewed, knowing that God has been faithful to mend a broken heart and bring beauty from pain.
“For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” -Psalm 30:5 ESV